Five Tips to Raising Adolescents

(1) Spend time with them. Your presence means something.
(2) Show an interest in the things they like.
(3) You do not have to teach; Be a model.
(4) Be yourself; be authentic.
(5) Be the parent.
 
Life is hard and challenging, I know. I have spent the majority of my kid’s adolescent years chasing the dime so that I can take care of my family. I served in the United States Army, missing some of the most important events of their adolescent years. The five tips I listed come from personal experience as a teenager and as a father.
 
I learned that doing things for our kids is less important than being with our kids. Presence means more than money or things. Our presence alone means that we care. Many of us parents know what we want for our kids, yet they may be struggling with what they want to do in life. They may be trying to understand themselves as a person. Yes, we can force them to play football, or we can encourage them to express their desire to play tennis, chess, or be part of the drama club. Many of us want to teach our kids, and we forget that modeling good manners or emotional control is teaching. We will mess up and make mistakes, perhaps lose control and become loud (yell) when a quiet answer would have sufficed. We are not perfect. When we do make a mess, clean it up by being authentic or admitting when you are wrong. Finally, be the parent. It is ok to set healthy boundaries, “No, Johnny, cell phones off at 10:00 pm." Perhaps an excellent and healthy model would be for every hour of computer play, the child spends two hours outside playing. By the way, go outside with them and throw the ball around or rake the leaves with them. Being with our kids will take intentionality and is challenging with today's faced-paced world.